Volpone's TARDIS build...

[Volpone]

Sadly, no work on the TARDIS.  But my other project is coming along:

(I'd have put this in my gallery or about the members threads, but since I stuck the other picture here, here it shall go as well.)

[Volpone]

Be warned:  This is going to go on and on and on and on like a 3rd Doctor serial. 

OK.  The TARDIS was desperately due for an overhaul last summer.  But then I got sidetracked with an A-Team van project that took close to a year and still has plenty of loose ends to tidy up (to say nothing of how happy I'd be if I could get the oil pressure and alternator gauges to work reliably--and the CHECK ENGINE light to reliably not come on) but that's a story for an A-Team van board.  Maybe some pictures if anyone's interested. 

Maybe 2 months back I noticed some funny looking wood along the base of the TARDIS.  I can't really describe it, but you instantly know that, under the paint, the wood is totally rotten.  Gouged out big chunks of rotten wood around the base (not the base, but the bottom crossbars/panels).  Had one entire base section rot out.  Sprayed a can of RAID up one corner post that the Zarbi and/or carpenter ants had turned into a base.  Had a look at the roof.  After almost 8 years, my trusty tar paper roof was really giving up the ghost.  Shoot, even the massive 4x4s that were my original cornerposts had a fair amount of rot on the bottom (under their refit facade).  On top of all that, the temperature variations of Kentucky seemed to be less kind to her than Portland weather. 

Still, I learned a trick or two in building The Van that I planned to employ on the TARDIS.  First off, everyone says fiberglass smells terrible.  So I figured 3 week dead deer in July, sulfur, or hog farm.  Fiberglass smells like airplane glue.  Maybe stronger.  But the same kind of smell.  And I get to be creative with it.  So it's kind of a flashback to coming home from the store with a new P51 Mustang to put together.  So with the van, finally on the back burner, it was time to tackle TARDIS refit #3. 

But first...lawn mowing.  And cutting back brush.  Because Kentucky is like the Krynoid planet--or that forest in "The Keys of Marinus" or something; the wolf weeds.  So with the yard waste can full and on the street for pickup tomorrow and pretty much the entire yard covered in pulled vines, hedge trimmings, and downed branches, I was ready to get to the TARDIS after lunch.  And the after-lunch cat nap (with the cat). 

Got to work on the TARDIS.  I immediately found that I had a lot less fiberglass matting leftover than I thought.  I also had no silicone caulk to glue on one of my "pebbled" "glass" panes.  I also had 3 nearly full but completely useless cans of spray foam gap sealer.  The list was growing.  The good news is, when it is finally time to paint, I've got about a gallon and a half of my gloss 1963 dark blue exterior.  And a pretty good amount of my old original blue color.  Finally, I painted the wall in my new living room a flat interior color called "Dutch Licorice" that I quite fancy.  So the plan will be the dark blue exterior for a base coat, some of the lighter original over that, and then finishing with the interior blue that I'm hoping will weather quite nicely and give a nice effect.  You see, the TARDIS wants to be all-blue again.  I did get to cut a new 2x4 for the missing base section and scrounged various bits of wood for the holes that couldn't be fixed with the method I had planned. (More on that later.) 

So having done all this, it was time to walk The Dog again.  Then off to the hardware store for supplies.  Back for dinner and "Jeopardy!" and then out to get to work on the TARDIS. 

People who make resin products hate their users.  The instructions are always frustrating and useless.  Bondo products say "for a golf ball-sized amount, add a 1.5" strip of hardener."  Turns out a golf ball is about 1.5" across.  So they could just say "run a strip of hardener across the resin and mix."  But the fiberglass instructions topped that:  For an ounce of resin, add 14 drops of hardener.  "An ounce?  What's an ounce?!  The can is 32 ounces.  I guess if I pour out 1/4 can, that's 8 ounces.  That's 8x14 drops."  Luckily, I remembered I had some leftover paint mixing cups from The Van and they have units of measure on them.  Turns out 6 ounces isn't enough to work with and 10 ounces is too much.  (And counting 140 drops of hardener is a pain in the butt.)  8 ounces wound up being about the perfect working amount.  Oh, I did forget to buy brushes for laying on fiberglass resin but I had one that, while terrible and gummed up, worked well enough.  Also, a big box of disposable nitrile gloves is the best thing ever.  Put a pair on, mix up a batch of resin, work it into the glass matting, throw away the gloves and put on a new pair. 

By the time I lost the last of my summer daylight, I had a new fiberglass cladding over my old tar paper roof.  I'm a bit nervous that some of the later batches of resin that don't seem to have set up as nicely as the earlier batches, but they should be fine.  We'll see tomorrow.  I do have some pictures, but they'll have to wait a bit.  Sadly no pictures from the 'glass work--that's too much of a race to get everything done before the resin hardens.  But I do have "before" pics.  And I'll have some "in-progress" pics once I get daylight again. 

Anyway, the smaller holes, rather than cut them all the way out and fit in new lumber, I'm trying something I did on some rusted bits on The Van:  Shoot expanding foam into the holes.  Let it harden up.  Then shave it down to the proper shape and slap Bondo body putty over it.  Bondo also makes some stuff called Bondo Hair that is like an interim step between fiberglass and body putty.  It's resin with glass filaments in it.  Almost as messy to work with as rubber roof patching compound, but I've had good results with the stuff.  I'm hoping to just use up the last of the stuff from working on The Van, but tomorrow I may wind up making a trip to the auto parts store when I realize I used up a lot more than I realized. 

I do have gallons and gallons of this thinset tile mortar that I used to make the bevels on my panels--laid it on like window glazing.  I'm thinking that will help waterproof AND make it more "concrete-like."  I forgot to pick up a new solar lamp for the signal lamp so who knows?  Maybe I'll have a go at the wiring on this one.  I know it should work.  But I'm hoping there's a loose wire (and not complete hopeless corrosion of everything).  Otherwise I'll have to see if any of the ones I have lying around will work or if I need to try to hunt down a bigger one to go into the top of my signal lamp. 

[Volpone]

OK.  However many "before" pictures I can get to upload.  Actually the exterior doesn't look too bad to the uninitiated--it hides what lies beneath; the tip of the iceberg.  And the interior pictures look a lot worse than they are (I think).  The refit added quite a lot of material in the rotted areas.  But it highlights a problem--especially with my old non-beveled trim:  water gets inside.  It gets between boards, no matter how well they are joined and painted.  And it gets to work... 

[fivefingeredstyre]

Just tell me this has a happy ending, OK?

[ThymeLorde]

As much as I love the look of a battered TARDIS, this one was almost too much to bear! I hate to hear about all the problems that have arisen since the last refit. It'd be such a shame to see this TARDIS claimed by rot. Hopefully it's "far from being all over..."

[Volpone]

Oh, she'll pull through.  I'm going with authentic classic BBC prop/set methods and using whatever's on hand and any means necessary to keep her in one piece.  I wish I'd had a bit more glass fiber and resin, but I'm hoping I've got the essential bits of the roof covered.  It cured like a treat overnight.  So now off to shave down the expanding foam and use Bondo Hair on prioritized areas until I run out of that, then the regular Bondo until I run out of that.  Hopefully that will make the nut without another trip to the hardware store.  Then I get into the thinset mortar and just "frost" everything until I run out of that.  Add paint and she should be good for another 3 years or so.

[The interior will continue to look horrid, because if I don't put anything over the inside walls, there's no place for water to stay and do its work.  At least that's the plan.]

[TG]

I feel for you!
Good luck with the restoration.

[Volpone]

OK.  Maybe 3 years is a bit optimistic.  But she should get through another winter in shape for more minor repairs.  It was hot today.  And before I got to the TARDIS, I wanted to gather up all the brush I trimmed from the perimeter (I was also neglecting that if you remember).  Not including the stuff that filled a 40 gallon yard waste can and the stuff I was able to burn, the resulting pile could easily be The Master's TARDIS.  It just about hides the TARDIS.  

I got some pictures of the pre-"frosting," but sadly none of the actual work.  Nitrile gloves are great for keeping your hands clean, but after getting all the resin off my phone screen from last night and immediately getting some on it while trying to take a picture of mixing Bondo Hair, I decided I'd have to skip the photos.  I would have had to anyway.  It was so hot today that mixing resin was impossible.  If you mixed enough to work with, it would set before you could use it all.  If you mixed an amount you could work with before it set, it wasn't enough to do a patch in one go.  And you wound up wasting a bunch (like trying to get every bit of peanut butter out of the jar--if the peanut butter would solidify in under 5 minutes).  On top of that, the frequent mix cycles were brutal on equipment.  Because each time I'd mix, the mixing stick would get a little more caked on.  But I got it done well enough.  

Then I realized I had some rubber roof patching compound laying around.  So I popped the lid on that to see how much there was.  Almost an entire gallon.  Screw that.  I hate working with the stuff and the last batch I used wasn't very effective at all, so I put it back and got out the thinset.  I didn't use as much as I'd considered using (when I first used the stuff, back in Oregon, The Plan was to plaster the entire exterior with it.  But I ran out.  Today I didn't run out, but it seemed a lot of work for little results so I frosted what I had to.  Hopefully the paint and the "battered TYJ" look I'm going for will mask imperfections. We'll see.  Probably pictures tomorrow.

Oh, and as I was finishing up, I noticed a suspicious looking patch of wood and, sure enough, proceeded to rip a new fist-sized hole in the wall.  Luckily the spray foam "reusable straw" worked as advertised this time.  Even so, it was a big hole to fill with spray foam, and I didn't want to wait for tomorrow to shave it down-especially since I was out of Bondo.  So I retired to the garage to look for a solution.  I'd surfaced the cabinets in The Van with countertop laminate and I latched onto a piece that was serendeptiously almost the exact size and shape of the hole.  I pushed it onto the still soft spray foam and when it had set enough, I slapped thinset over the patch. 

[Volpone]

Glassed roof:

I'm guardedly optimistic about this.  Trying to remember the original structure and modifications I've made and think if there is an easy way for water to attack still.  I guess it could still get in the cornerposts.  And that's my problem:  It gets in the cornerposts, and runs down to the ground, where it expands out to the bottom walls and rots them (and the bottoms of the cornerposts.  And the base...) 
Spray foam, shaved down:


The bottom crossbar on the door will be the least convincing and most sketchy.  Rather than build drawers for The Van, I bought a cheap dresser of the right dimensions and drawer number and cannibalized it on the van.  The white crossbar on the bottom of the door is one of the slats between the drawers on the dresser.  MDF, dont'cha know.    We'll see. 

[Shwalamazula]

You could drill holes on all 4 posts and run tube from the posts down to the base. You can then direct the tubes right to the ground or drill some drain holes into the base. If you drill the holes right, you wont even notice them.

[Volpone]

So.  Apparently Kentucky weather is more harsh than Oregon weather.  Or more time has passed than I realized.  Because when I opened my 4 gallons-ish of 4 different colors of blue in interior and exterior with a variety of glosses, I found I had 5 pails of watery liquid of varying shades of blue, surrounding big cylindrical latex sponges.    Since it's supposed to rain soon and there was clearly no way to make any of this work to actually protect wood from the elements, it was load up The Dog and head off to the local paint store for a gallon of blue exterior latex. 

Ran over, grabbed the second blue paint swatch I saw and picked the bottom color on it.  I almost went with the next one up, which was blacker/greyer, but "blueberry pie" looked about perfect for an all blue TARDIS.  Made small-talk with the paint store guy while he was mixing it up, went to pay for it...and realized that, while getting car keys and a dog and a leash, I forgot to grab my wallet.    

Zapped home and back--while the skies were getting greyer and more ominous.  Got my paint, got home and...if you've been here for awhile, you know that in the past few years I've been a proponent of "getting the right blue doesn't matter, because it will change with the lighting so just pick one you like."  But man..."blueberry pie," in the can, was really blue.  Like Willy Wonka Doctor TARDIS.  And trippy 1970s Gene Wilder Willy Wonka, not 21st century Johnny Depp.  Still...wet paint in the can always is brighter than when it's dry on wood.  Brave heart and press on. 

Slapping on paint in 90 degree weather isn't fun.  Especially when you know you've got to get it done.  I was increasingly seeing how people wind up throwing in the towel on TARDISes that need repair.  But I got it done.  Then I had a cold shower, a 3:30 lunch and a much needed nap before taking The Dog for her afternoon walk.  Changed back into shorts and tried to get the second coat on before "Jeopardy!"  I got to catch Final Jeopardy, but it's OK.  The base coat is on the TARDIS.  It can rain tonight.  The blue settled down and is a little more intense than my old blue from when I built it and I'm quite liking the all blue with blue center bottom window panes.  I was worried that I wouldn't like it, but it seems to work. 

So now The Plan is to take what's left of my new exterior and pour all my other colors into it and put a coat of that over everything.  Then, if need be, I'll do some weathering too.  Originally, I was going to do a wash with each of the ruined cans to get all the different colors, but I've already spent too long on this so I'll just throw them all in the same pail and not mix it very well.  I'm thinking it will get the job done.  I guess we'll find out. 

Then I've got to get back on neglected household projects and things that make me money. 

[russellsuthern]

I am feeling for you, but keep up the good work.

It's odd, but it does seem to be harder work fixing a TARDIS than building it in the first place!

I really hate it when I check my old paint tins I had in storage only to find they have separated & hardened- what a waste of money...

Anyway, I'm in the middle of a ton of DIY at the moment. Once that's done, I need to do my annual summer check over of my TARDIS.
After seeing what you found, I'm starting to worry...

Best regards,

Russell

[Volpone]

Well, I did move mine across country and then did only the most minimal maintenance on it before completely neglecting it for about 2 years (and that isn't counting neglect at the old location) so hopefully yours is in better shape.  It's also been unusually wet this year.  Anyhow, here's yesterday's pictures: 
All "frosted" with thinset tiling mortar.  I used it over joints that were separating, for texture, and to hide woodgrain.  Also for limited waterproofing around the roof.  Roof is messier than I'd like right now, but I'm going to leave it; maybe clean it up and sand it a bit next year:

First setback--plenty of useless blue paint in a wide variety of shades: 

First coat of paint, on: 


The blue is a touch bluer than I'd like (and than these photos show).  Glossier too.  But I think it's going to work.  I left the blue panes, given that they're accurate to 1930s police boxes, but I'm thinking I'm going to pop them off.  Somehow an all-blue box is a TARDIS (and doesn't have blue panes), while a blue and white box can be a police box--and almost requires blue panes.   

I'm hoping the wash with ruined paints negates the need for weathering.  That's a definite advantage of the dark blue and white TARDIS--no need to add weathering, making it simpler to repaint each year (not that I actually did that). 

[Volpone]

Oh, I added mortar to the cornerposts to knock down some of the wood grain.  Wasn't a fan of it way back when I did the refit, but I ran out of mortar then and never got around to fixing it.  And yeah, definitely going to have to look at cleaning up the roof.  It is beyond "rustic" or "battered" and into "looks like it was made out of clay by a 6 year old in art class".   

[Volpone]

Well, my plan of mixing all my leftover ruined paint with the last of my new gallon was a good way to use up 2 hours or so.  But there's no noticeable difference (at least to my eye).  Looks like I'm going to have to get out the Lamp Black artists acrylic and the wet rag and add some weathering.   

And I'm officially adjusting my advice on paint selection:  Pick the blue you like.  Then go about 2 shades darker than that and/or less blue.  The paint chip lies.  Interestingly, I'll have to go back to look at old photos, but it looks like I selected almost exactly the shade of blue I originally picked (and it wound up too light then too).